Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck

Having had some bullshit with some of his creditors of late, Rico says he is reminded of a story told to him, years ago now, by Jerry Marsullo, the co-owner of Megabooks (now, lamentably, gone) in Palo Alto, California:

Seems a Russian guy that Jerry knew back in New York (Rico did mention that Jerry was from New York, didn't he? Use the appropriate accent in your head.) got called into the IRS office to be asked some questions about his tax returns. Being a good citizen, and a recent one at that, the guy dutifully goes down to the office at the appointed time, only to be told that Mr. Schwartz, his examiner, was busy and he could take a seat and wait.
Which, being a good citizen, he did.
But he was also a self-employed one, a plumber as Rico recalls, and thus losing money while sitting there.
But, being a good citizen, he waited.
Every half hour or so, he would go up to the desk and inquire about the condition of Mr. Schwartz, only to be told to go back and sit down until he was called.
Which, being a good citizen, he did.
Until about two hours into the process, when he marched up to the desk, was told that Mr. Schwartz was still busy, and that he should go sit back down.
"No." (You have to imagine the Russian accent here.)
"No?" The receptionist is, not surprisingly, surprised; that's not a word she was used to hearing.
"No. I have appointment Mr. Schwartz, nine am, but now it nearly noon."
"Sir, if you would..."
"No."
"No?" Again, incredulously.
"No. I am leaving."
"But, sir, you can't do that."
"No?" Now it's his turn to be incredulous. "Why? Are you KGB?" (This was, of course, an era in which those initials still meant something.) "You come to my house, take me away, beat me, shoot me? No." He leans in close enough that the receptionist can feel his breath on her face. "You just want the money."
He leaves and goes home.
That afternoon, Mr. Schwartz calls to ask, nicely, when would it be possible for him to come back to the office and speak with them?

So, always remember, they just want the money.
They can't shoot you, they can't beat you, they can't even have you arrested. So tell them to shut up and call you tomorrow and ask nicely...