Best Irish joke

Rico says his friend Tex sends this one:

Down at the pub one night, John O'Reilly hoisted his Guinness and said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" This won him the top prize at the pub, for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary: "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said: "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said: "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" said Mary.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street. The man chuckled leeringly and said: "John won the prize the other night to the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said: "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep."

Rico says this is why, if forced to tell what you've been up to, you never lie to the wife...