27 March 2012

A Fluke, surely

Rico says his father forwards this:
Sandra Fluke, a law student at Georgetown University, spoke before a Congressional committee a few weeks ago. She was lamenting that no one would subsidize her birth
control expenses, which she claimed would amount to $3000 during her three years in law school. After watching Fluke describe her desperate situation, I started thinking of ways to help her out of her crisis. First, of course, I had to go through the grieving period I experienced after hearing of her inhumane treatment at the hands of the Georgetown administration and our government; what cruelty lurks in the heart of men, that they would leave this poor woman to fend for herself when all she wanted to do was get laid seven times a day (see my analysis below).
Once I recovered from my grief, I set to thinking about ways to help this poor girl. Being a physicist, I sat down with my calculator and worked through some numbers. Fluke's expense account for birth control (aka sexual entertainment) was claimed to be $3,000 for three years at law school. Let's presume that, as an educated woman, she wants to be doubly safe and uses both birth control pills to prevent pregnancy and condoms to prevent STDs.
Using the Wal-Mart cost for birth control pills of $9 per month, her birth control pills will cost her $324 for her entire law school career (if you can call it a career; I can think of other names). This leaves only $2,676 for her condoms.
I went to Amazon.com and found quality condoms available for 33 cents each, in packages of sixty condoms each; this cost includes tax and shipping. Since she has $2,676 left for her 33 cent condoms, she would be buying 8,109 condoms during her law school "career".
To use her 8,109 condoms (remember, $3,000 was Fluke's own number) she would have to have sex seven times a day; this number presumes that she has sex ten times a day on Sundays, when she has more free time.
So, having worked through these numbers, I have some suggestions for Fluke to help her work through her crisis:
1. Find dates who are gentlemanly enough to either provide their own condoms, or at least split the cost with her. Selection criteria is the key to this one.
2. Spend more time studying. Even seven "quickies" a day will seriously cut into quality study time. This would not only save money but would improve her education as well.
Just trying to help out a starving student.
FYI, the average starting salary of new Georgetown Law School graduates is $160,000 a year...

Booth R. Myers, PhD
Rico says you can't fault the guy's math... (His politics, maybe, but not his math.)

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