Oh, that darn Don...

Rico says, courtesy of his friend Bill Calloway, this not from the irrepressible Don Rickles, apparently, but (according to Paul Schefrin) by a perfectly-imitating blogger:

Hello, dummies! Oh, my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?
Seriously, Senator Harry Reid has a face of a saint: a Saint Bernard. Now I know why they call him the arithmetic man: he adds partisanship, subtracts pleasure, divides attention, and multiplies ignorance. Reid is so physically unimposing, he makes Pee Wee Herman look like Mr. T... But Reid's so dumb, he makes Speaker Nancy Pelosi look like an intellectual. Nevada is so screwed! If I were less polite, I'd say Reid makes Kevin Federline look successful.
Speaking of Speaker Pelosi, hubba, hubba! Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity. Seriously, the Speaker may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. She really is an idiot.
Representative Charlie Rangel: still alive and still robbing the taxpayers blind. What does that make, six decades of theft? Rangel's the only man with a rent-controlled mansion. He's the guy who writes our tax laws, but forgot to pay taxes on $75,000 in rental income; so why isn't he the Treasury Secretary? Rangel runs more scams than a Nigerian banker.
Representative Barney Frank, now, he's a better actor than Fred Flintstone. Consider that he and Senator Christopher Dodd caused the whole financial meltdown, and they're not only not serving time with Bubba and Rodney, they're still heading up the financial system! Let's all admit it, Barney Frank slobbers more than a sheepdog on Novocain. How did this guy get elected? Oh, that's right; he's from Massachusetts. That's the state that elects Mister Charisma, Senator John Kerry, a man of the people!
You know, if Dodd were any more crooked, you could open wine bottles with him. Here's a news flash, Dodd: when your local newspaper calls you a "lying weasel", it may be time to retire. Dodd's involved in more shady deals than the Clintons. Even Rangel looks up to him!
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, I really respect you, especially given your upbringing and all you've overcome. I heard your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory. I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works for you. Personally, I don't think you're a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others?
As for President Obama, what can I say? They say President Obama's arrogant and aloof, but I don't agree. Now, it is true that, when you enter the room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket. His mind is open to new ideas, so open that ideas simply pass through it. Obama lies so much, I was actually surprised to find out his first name really was Barack, but just don't ask about his middle name... But Obama was able to set a record: he actually lied more in sixty days than Bill Clinton did in four years.

Rico says he doesn't always agree with Mister Rickles, but about some of these clowns he surely does...