Rico says his friend Tex sends along this pseudo-Irish joke:

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years. Upon her return, her father cursed her heavily: "Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Muther thru?"
The girl, crying, replied, sniffing back tears: "Dad, I became a prostitute."
"Ye what? Get outta here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this good Catholic family."
"Alright, Dad, ss ye wish. I just came back to give Mum a luxurious fur coat, the deed to a ten-bedroom mansion, plus a five-million-dollar savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye, Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes Limited Edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club..." She took a deep breath. "...and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht on the Riviera."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" said her Dad.
The girl started crying again: "A prostitute, Daddy."
"Oh, girl, be-Jaysus, ye scared me half to death! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!"

Rico says this is why there are wars over religion, and not prostitution...