Remember: unclick the seat belts

If you want to know why that's Rico standing up in the aisle with a seatbelt flail dangling from his hand, this is why. CNN reports air marshals missing from almost all flights: "Of the 28,000 commercial airline flights that take to the skies on an average day in the United States, fewer than 1 percent are protected by on-board, armed federal air marshals." The TSA refuses to release either the total number of marshals regularly assigned to flights or a percentage of daily flights that are covered, but called the numbers given to CNN "a myth." Air marshals told CNN that while the TSA tells the public it cannot divulge numbers because they are classified, the agency tells its own agents that at least 5 percent of all flights are covered. But marshals across the country -- all of whom spoke with CNN on the condition they not be identified for fear of losing their jobs -- said the 5 percent figure quoted to them by their TSA bosses is not possible. CNN was told that staffing in Dallas, Texas, for instance, is down 44 percent from its high, while Seattle, Washington, has 40 percent fewer agents. Las Vegas, Nevada, which had as many as 245 air marshals, this past February had only 47. The Transportation Security Administration is advertising for applicants to fill 50 air marshal positions.

Rico says the bad guys read the internet, too; if the TSA gets caught, there'll be hell to pay. Of course, if the bad guys succeed, it won't be on a flight that Rico's on...