25 September 2007

Needle off the scale

Well, just when you think you can't care any more, you have to. Got off the phone earlier with a friend of mine who's married (so far; day ain't over yet) to an even closer friend of mine, with whom she recently had a child.
Unfortunately, there's screw loose somewhere, and she's making him nuts, to the point of physical violence, and she apparently has the bruises to prove it.
Now, whatever else I may believe, violence again women is never justified. Especially when they're half your height and weight. (If anyone's ever seen a photo of me and Chris, it's about that differential. Hitting Chris would be, for me, about like hitting a child, and not a very big one at that.)
This is not the friend I thought I had. I'm disappointed.
No matter how this turns out, it's not going to be good for anyone.

Chris just emailed me the link to the arrest file. Not good. I don't dare call or email, thought I'd like to. Better to wait for things to cool down a bit...

Got an email from her. I advised her to stay the fuck away. Once bitten, twice shy, they say...

Got a voicemail from him. I'll report back later.

I do wonder how this will all turn out...

So far, of course, it's been just weirder than shit. I had quite a long conversation with him, and things were perceived somewhat differently, as I might have suspected.

According to him, hitting was never involved. The single bruise on her arm was acquired when she was doing some work in the forepeak. (This is a small boat. Things are pointy and sometimes fall down.) No facial bruising. No arm damage. No loosened teeth. No hitting whatsoever.

According to him, she was sent off the boat to get a job. When she called, mere minutes later, to report that there were "no jobs available ashore", he got cranky. An hour later, the cops showed up. So far (until the lawyers get involved), all we really know is that the cops looked at her, listened to her story (though noting in their report that it was 'unverified'), and showed up to arrest him. Then he spent three less-than-pleasant days in the slammer.

So far, no sign of photos taken at the time of the report, no sign of a medical examination, nada. Until further notice from competent authorities, I'm withholding judgement on this one. Do I think he hit her? Maybe. Though, knowing him as I do, I would have been surprised. Could she have made the whole thing up? Maybe. But, knowing her as I do, 'compulsive liar' would not be too much of a stretch as a behavioral analysis. (And I wouldn't be the first to use the phrase about her.)

Sad. Sad. Sad. No matter what the 'real' reality is here, no one's going to get off easy. He got three days in the pokey (so far), the baby is being cared for by a person in whom we have less than total confidence, and the cops are, if not incompetent then, charitably, unskilled at this. Since there are both county-wide and state-wide courses, specifically targeting police departments, that teach all the right procedures (photos, medical exam, videotaped cross-examination by trained investigators), if the locals didn't do any of that they're worse than morons. Incompetent cops can get you fucked over by the system, if not killed. If they did, of course, he's a liar and I'll be really pissed. If they did and there was nothing there, then she's a liar and I'll be equally pissed.

In any case, the kid's fucked. He'll grow up, if he's lucky, in a single parent home, with at least one wacko as a parent. Poor little unsuspecting bastard.

Some cans of worms you wish you'd never opened...

Today's email traffic is just as weird.
She's insisting he did, he's insisting he didn't.
Do I know who's lying? No, though I have suspicions.
When you're at this remove and can't see a person's expression nor (over email) hear their voice, you can't tell.
But it's one or the other, that's for sure.
One way I'll be surprised, and pissed off. The other way I won't be surprised.
Either way, sad, sad, sad.
My ladyfriend keeps asking me why I'm stuck to this tarbaby. Maybe because, foolishly, I care about those involved...
Hope it resolves itself soon, one way or another. I can't handle all the drama much longer.

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