10 September 2013

History repeating itself

Rico's friend Dusty forwards this, purportedly written by John Cleese, the British writer, actor, and comedian:
Threats in Europe The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria, and have therefore raised their security level from Miffed to Peeved. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again, to Irritated, or even A Bit Cross. The English have not been A Bit Cross since the Blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from Tiresome to A Bloody Nuisance. The last time the British issued a Bloody Nuisance warning was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from Pissed Off to Let's Get the Bastards. They don't have any other levels, which is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last three hundred years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels are Collaborate and Surrender. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from Shout Loudly and Excitedly to Elaborate Military Posturing. Two more levels remain: Ineffective Combat Operations and Change Sides.
The Germans have increased their alert state from Disdainful Arrogance to Dress in Uniform & Sing Marching Songs. They also have two higher levels: Invade a Neighbour and Lose.
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from No worries to She'll be all right, mate. Two more escalation levels remain: Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend! and The barbie is cancelled. So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the last escalation level.
And, as a final thought:
Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome to 430 BC!
Rico says he's with the Scots, as usual: Let's Get the Bastards

No comments:

 

Casino Deposit Bonus