Curmudgeon anonymous

Rico says his friend Tex sends along this one:

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know. Take it out on someone you don't know:

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered: "Hello."
I politely said: "This is Chris, could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled in my ear "Get the right fucking number!" and slammed down the phone. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled: “You’re a shithead!", and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'shithead' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell: "You're a shithead!"
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'shithead' calling would have to stop. But when I called his number and said: "Hi, this is Jerry Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?", he yelled: "No!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said: "That's because you're a shithead!" and hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and stole the spot I had patiently waited for. I honked the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but he just gave me the finger.
However, he had a For Sale on his side windows, with his phone number. I wrote it down. A couple of days later, right after calling the first shithead, as I had his number on speed dial; I thought that I'd better call the BMW shithead, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said: "Yes, it is."
I asked: "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said: "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Boulevard in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
So I asked: "What's your name?"
He said: "My name is Don Hansen."
I asked: "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said: "I'm home every evening after five."
I said: "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said: "Yes?"
I said: "Don, you're a shithead!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem: I had two shitheads to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called shithead number one, who said: "Hello."
I said: "You're a shithead!", but I didn't hang up.
He asked: "Are you still there?"
I said: "Yeah."
He screamed: "Stop calling me."
I said: "Make me."
He asked: "Who are you?"
I said: "My name is Don Hansen."
He said: "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said: "Shithead, I live at 34 Oaktree Boulevard in Fairfax, a yellow rambler. I have a black Beamer parked out front."
He said: "I'm coming over right now, Don; and you had better start saying your prayers."
I said: "Yeah, like I'm really scared, shithead," and hung up.
Then I called shithead number two, who said: "Hello?"
I said: "Hello,shit head."
He yelled: "If I ever find out who you are..."
I said: "You'll what?"
He said: "I'll kick your ass."
I answered: "Well, shithead, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down on Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch the two shit heads beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter; and surrounded by a news crew.
Now I feel much better. Anger management really does work.