North vs South

On perpetual bad-music hold at Staples (yes, they had what he wanted; no, it was a thousand bucks; no, he's not doing that), Rico noted one of the differences between the North (where he lives) and the South (where his mother was born and he's spent quite a bit of time). The recording kept referring to someone coming on the line "soon" which, as we all know, is Northern-speak for somewhere between 'momentarily' and 'nigh unto forever'.

Rico says how much better it would be if they were a Southern company, and understood the distinction between "directly", meaning somewhere between 'now' and 'in a little while' and "presently", meaning somewhere between 'later' and 'a lot later'...