Tiger, Tiger, burning bright

Rico says he's not sure who this Tiger is who keeps leaving comments on his blog (thirteen so far today) but Rico wishes the guy would, like the old WW2 movies had it, "spreak Engrich!"
Since they look like this:

anyone who can read what appears to be Japanese is free to go read them, translate them (if they're worth translating), and repost the English versions.
If not, fuck it.