26 June 2015

The Ant and the Grasshopper, redux

Rico says his father forwards The Ant And The Grasshopper, the 2015 version:

The traditional version :
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up  supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed, but the grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
The moral of the story:  Be responsible for yourself

The current version:
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed, while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home, with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the contrast. How can this be that, in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing,
It's Not Easy Being Green.


Occupy the Anthill stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house, where the news stations film the SEIU singing We Shall Overcome.


Then the Reverend Al Sharpton's assistant has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper while he damns the ants. (Reverend Al can not attend, as he has contractual commitments to appear on his MSNBC show, for which he is paid over two million dollars a year to complain that rich people do not care.)
President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight..
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid exclaim in an interview on The View that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for a tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act, retroactive to the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper .
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food, while the government house he is in (which, as you recall, was the ant's old house) crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned,
is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once-prosperous and peaceful neighborhood.  
The entire nation collapses, bringing the rest of the Free World with it.

The moral of the story is this: be careful how you vote in 2016.

Pass this on to other ants, but don't bother sending it to grasshoppers, they wouldn't understand it.

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