Rico says his father, a practicing engineer himself, sends along these:

Comprehending Engineers One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said: "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground and took off all her clothes, saying: "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly: "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.*

Comprehending Engineers Three
A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed: "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in: "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said: "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him. Hey, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied: "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said: "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said: "Good idea. I'm going to contact my buddy the ophthalmologist and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said: "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Comprehending Engineers Four
An engineer had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over thirty years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion-dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on particular component of the machine and stated, "This is the location of your problem".
The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark: $1
Knowing where to put it: $49,999.

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Comprehending Engineers Five
What's the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons.
Civil Engineers build targets.

Comprehending Engineers Six
The graduate with a Science degree asks: "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks: "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks: "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks: "Do you want fries with that?"

Comprehending Engineers Seven
Normal people believe that, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that. if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Comprehending Engineers Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want."
Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said: "Look, as an engineer I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

*Rico asks: 'Who stole my water?'