Quotes for the day

Since many of you will not root around in the earlier posts by one of my newly-favorite blogs, The LawDog Files, here's some righteous Texas wisdom for you:

You might be a rural Texas Peace Officer:
If your hat, belt, and boots cost more than your sidearm.
If you know what a 'court gun' is.
If you have a 'court gun'.
If directions to a location involve livestock, property descriptions, or the words When you get off the pavement.
If the winner of the last three bar-room brawls was last year's Homecoming Queen.
If dressing up for court involves pressed Wranglers and a Brushpopper shirt.
If anyone on the Department is named 'Bubba'.
If you don't know Bubba's real name.
If Bubba is his real name.
If you've ever gotten a confession from a critter by threatening him with either his Mama or God.
If your interview for the job involved the question Can you take a whuppin'?
If you have more weapons and ammunition in your cruiser than most small nations have in their armies.
If you've ever had an Officer Involved Shooting where the victim was a feral hog or other four-pawed critter with an appetite.
If the caliber of your sidearm is classified as an artillery round in Europe.
If you've ever had to mediate a dispute concerning the paternity of a litter of puppies.
If you have the impression that the Feds regard your department as being only marginally more civilized than the Vikings.
If you think all backup is 30 miles away and asleep in bed.
If you've ever gone to an emergency wearing only your hat, pajamas, gun, and boots.
If spurs are a department-issued item.
*sigh*
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

Now that's (as John Wesley Hardin said when Ranger John Armstrong came through the door) Texas, by God!