21 February 2006

High time for an old idea

After the First World War (for those born too recently to know what that was, it was the first time most countries that had armies got to use them), a number of places that had been colonies of the defeated Germans were taken over by the League of Nations (for those born too recently to know what that was, it was the first time most countries that had armies agreed not to use them) and run under what was termed a mandate, a fancy word meaning "we're in charge now".
After the Second World War (for those born too recently to know what that was, it was the last time most countries that had armies got to use them), the same thing was implemented by the United Nations (the guys in the big building in New York City that took over the League of Nations franchise) for places that had been colonies of the defeated Japanese, under what was, amazingly, still called a mandate.
Given the situation in northern Uganda (and the Sudan and Somalia and many similar places around the world), where local government is either totally ineffective or actually operating a little profitable genocide program on the side, maybe it's time to reintroduce the Mandate. (Or just airdrop weapons so that the locals can defend themselves.)
We send in a bunch of NGOs (NonGovernmental Organizations, or 'do-gooders', as they used to be called) and a slew of PMOs (Private Military Organizations, or 'mercenaries', as they used to be called), both sets of hirelings armed with heavy weapons and a shit-pot (a financial term meaning, in Washingtonian terms, "more than the budget for mosquito control but less than the budget for farm subsidies") full of money.
If we can't out-source a government that runs better than the ridiculous charades that pass for governments in these places, we should give up and implement a media ban so the weak-stomach'd among us don't have to hear about the slaughter...

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