Explaining sunrise to a blind man

I ran across (in a random search, honest) this post in this young overly-Christian (it's not her fault, she's from Kentucky) woman's blog:

"Yes, I am a 29-year-old virgin! Can anyone tell me why sex is the big deal it is? I admit I know nothing about it, I mean, yeah I know but I've never experienced it. What is it about this that is so interesting?"

Did I have to respond? Yup. (Besides, she was cute.)

My comment:
Let's ignore your questions for the moment and start with the name of your blog: Agape.
According to a bunch of definitions via Google, agape is defined as "the Greek word for divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing love", "a state of unconditional love for everything", "different from erotic love", "a love that stems from the ability of the initiate to see the divine spark in all life", "the Greek word for ‘love’ used to distinguish its character from ‘eros’ which has more sensual associations", and "selfless love of one person for another without sexual implications".

A hard act to follow!

But 'virgin', even in the Madonna (the singer, not the mother of Jesus) use of the word, is a tricky thing.
(As we non-virgins say, slightly nastily, "Really? Where?")
Does that mean you've never had sexualized contact (kissing, touching, hugging) with another human? Or are we limiting the use of the word to penetration of a specific area of your body with a specific part of someone else's body? (As in, I've known 'virgins' in the technical sense that they've never had a penis actually inside their vaginas, but who've had a lot of other behaviors just as sexual.)

Here's the problem:
Sex has nothing to do with marriage.

You can have good sex without marriage.
You can have good sex within a marriage.
You can have a good marriage with bad sex.
You can have a great marriage with good sex.
You can have an unbelievably great marriage with great sex.
You can have a bad marriage with bad sex.
You can have a really bad marriage with no sex.
The variations are endless.

You can even have a bad marriage with good sex, for awhile. (Can you tell I'm divorced?)

The point is, sex is a way of connecting with another person. It can be good, bad, or merely (and sadly, especially within a marriage) indifferent.
You can have it for money (oh, shocking! but a lot of marriages have sex for the rent or clothes or a nice night out, just like non-marriage relationships), for love, for companionship, for consolation, or sometimes (if you're lucky) just because it feels so good.

Why is it such a big deal?
Because it touches many incredibly important areas of life: creation, affirmation, satisfaction...

Why can't I tell you why it's a good thing?
It's like telling someone born in the middle of the Sahara desert why ice cream is good. (Children provided with bananas or oranges who've never seen one typically try and eat them without peeling them first. This is a good object lesson for your wedding night...) To really know, I guess you just gotta try it.

God, by the way, never provided instructions for sex. Even if you believe the Garden of Eden myth, sex there was as natural as breathing. Only once Eve knew shame did sex become bad. (Since a lot of preachers harp on shame, you might wonder which of the angels they work for. Lucifer, of course, was a perfectly good angel before he was Fallen...)

Why is it interesting?
Because it's never the same twice. Not even with the same person. Not even when the last time was (if you're very lucky, and young) a half hour ago.

All that was a long-winded way of saying you should have some. Whenever. If that means you wait until you're married, well, your loss.
Write and tell me how it was...