Illegal lesbians

The BBC has an article about a place where love not only dare not speak its name, it can't come out of the closet:

After Sunday's attack on a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida, where fifty people were killed, vigils in the US, UK, and elsewhere have shown solidarity and support for LGBT people worldwide.
But, in Iran, committing homosexual acts can incur the death penalty, and being gay can put a severe strain on family relationships. Sara, who is 23, has lived in her mother's house with her girlfriend for four years. Here, she explains how difficult their life has become: 

Sara
I was about eleven or twelve when I first fell for a woman. I told my cousin and her reaction was shocking: she called me a hamjensbaaz or faggot. I didn't realize it was an insult then, but I knew that if I told anyone else they would make fun of me. I once told my personal trainer that I had feelings for her and she told me to read the Quran.
I knew for sure that I was gay when I met my partner, Maryam, four years ago. We chatted online and when we went on our first date I saw a schoolgirl who was so delicate, so tiny! I was mesmerized by her beauty thinking: "Is she really going to be my girlfriend?"
My mother listens to our intimate phone conversations. Sometimes in the morning she checks our bedroom, looks at the pillows, and says: "Why do you two sleep so close to each other at night?" Or she suggests that the bed is too small and one of us should sleep somewhere else. She comes into the room without warning and makes sure the door is always open. I want to tell her to stop, that it's none of her business. I had to hide Maryam in the cupboard once when we had my uncles over.
My mother is scared of me. I can be very violent. I won't hurt anyone, but if there is too much pressure on me I will collapse. It has happened before and I left home twice. I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I came back after a couple of days.
In the middle of the night I hear her weeping and praying to God to cure me. It's very difficult.
I was naive to think that, because my cousins bring their partners to family gatherings, I could, too. My family has become increasingly hostile and, at my cousin's birthday party, they collectively ignored Maryam. It was very awkward, and we had to leave. They love me, but they hate her. I can't bear it.
Once I saw a counsellor and she started swearing at me: "Why don't you understand that even cows know how to have normal sex?" she asked
Sometimes I feel for my mother. She is nearly seventy and is a religious person. I can't argue with her, and I fear she might not be able to bear all this.
I also believe in God and pray every day. I tried to find something in the Quran to show that homosexuality can be compatible with Islam, but couldn't, and you can't ask an imam.
At one point I thought the only way to deal with it was to have a sex change. In Iran, being transsexual is considered a medical condition that can be treated, but it is illegal to be gay here. People are sometimes encouraged to have surgery so they don't "fall into sin" and live as homosexuals. The doctors won't tell you honestly if they think you are a transsexual who really needs an operation, so people are often left feeling confused.
I had ten sessions with a counsellor who assessed me, and I have been put on the list for surgery, but I don't think I can go through with it. I might regret it. Besides, my partner would hate it. She might leave me. Plus, there is no way back if you change your mind. I know transgender people who have suffered after the operation with depression and mental health problems. I saw a woman in a clinic who had had surgery to become a man; he was sobbing and begging them to reverse the operation. He was saying he couldn't live in a man's body. I was horrified.
When we've been out together, Maryam and I have been stopped and questioned by the moral police. I have quite a masculine appearance anyway. I have short hair, wear baggy jeans, a man's watch. and trainers.
I love the power that men have and I love behaving like a man in my relationship. Sometimes when I see heterosexual couples, I feel weak that I can't protect my partner as much as I would like.
When we've been out together, Maryam and I have been stopped and questioned by the moral police. Once we were in the park and I removed my headscarf. A man came and asked if I was a woman and I said "yes". He told me to go with him, but when I showed him the card I was given at the transsexual counseling center, he let me go. That card means I am allowed to go out in public places without a hijab, the idea being to let you try living as a man before the operation.
You see many young women like me in the streets now and it's a bit more relaxed than it used to be but, years ago, when I walked around Tehran, I was constantly insecure.
I worried that if they stopped me and searched my mobile, and found pictures, or saw my text messages to my partner, they might put me in prison or confiscate my passport, even execute me.
I would like to marry my partner. Maybe one day, when we leave Iran, it will be possible.

Rico says it's hard enough being gay in a normal country, let alone a nation of wackos...