22 April 2012

Now that Rico is a senior citizen

Rico says his father sends this advice:
The importance of walking
•Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home, at $4,000 per month.
•My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was sixty. Now he's 97 years old, and we have no idea where he is.
•I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
•The only reason I would take up walking is so I could hear heavy breathing again.
•I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
•I joined a health club last year, spent about 250 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there...
•Every time I utter the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
•I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
•The advantage of exercising every day is so, when you die, they'll say: "
Well, he looks good, doesn't he."
•If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
•I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
•We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
•Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with Happy Hour and, by the time I leave, I look just fine.

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