What's in a name?

This will surely go down in history as the Campaign of the Wacky Names. Let us recite, in no particular order, except we're doing Republicans first:
Rudy Giuliani; for once, in this crowd, it almost sounds normal
Mike Huckabee: Not the dumbest name in the bunch, but he is from Arkansas
Duncan Hunter: never been a President Duncan, and won't be this time, either; too Scottish for the average Joe, anyway
John McCain: perhaps the most 'normal' sounding name of the bunch
Ron Paul: can't have two first names and be president
Willard Romney: Nope; no Willards for president, either. But why, oh why, didn't he ever have a fistfight in the schoolyard and make people call him Will? Much better than Mitt. Besides, they say you should never trust a man who parts his name in the middle, much less a man who cuts off the whole left side of his name.
Fred Thompson: Besides being my favorite, President Fred is still better than Mitt or Hillary...
Alan Keyes: a standing joke, I can't believe he's back again
Tom Tancredo: took himself out of the race
Joe Biden: sorry, the only President Joe we were supposed to have was Joe Kennedy, and the Germans got him in 1944
Hillary Clinton: any woman's name still sounds odd behind "President", but even Susan would be better than Hillary. Maybe, by the time she's old enough, President Chelsea will be electable...
Christopher Dodd: I'm sorry, but President Chris doesn't cut it either
John Edwards: ennhh, thanks for playing, but you already had a shot at this, twice, and you're still a moron
Mike Gravel: an Alaskan? I don't think so, and the 'small stones' jokes would be too obvious
Dennis Kucinich: the Howdy Doody candidate
Barack Obama: my only choice from the Democratic side but, okay, since no one else will go there, Rico will: barracoon n. A barracks in which slaves or convicts were formerly held in temporary confinement. And if the Wahhabi rumors are true, we could have the first real Manchurian Candidate this time...
Bill Richardson: a stealth Hispanice candidate; but governors aren't doing well in this race, and he's no exception

All in all, not a lot to choose from, name-wise, in this election.
I'm still with Fred, but I'll take Barack if he makes it and Fred doesn't.