Cruise for the day

Rico says he rarely reads (and even more rarely agrees with) The National Enquirer, but when an article purporting (hey, it is The Enquirer) to be about Tom Cruise's 'secret porn star hookup' catches his eye, well, you gotta read it. When it starts out "Scientology toady Tom Cruise", given Rico's well-known loathing of both Scientology and Cruise, Rico's gotta read it.
Turns out it's more of a slam on Jennifer Hammon, another Scientology acolyte, who dated Cruise at some big Scientology events...