For those few of you who might have missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's show Mail Call, and played the drill instructor in the movie Full Metal Jacket. He also recently played a totally unsympathetic psychiatrist in a GEICO commercial:
Of course, there's a version with what he really would have said:
Awhile back he co-starred in a Coors Light commercial with John Wayne:
Ermey is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker. At a recent press conference, the main topic of discussion was a Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.
Reporter Number One: "How will this potential war crime affect our image in the world?"Rico says some things you just can't fake, and an Ermey diatribe is surely one of them...
Ermey: What kind of pansy-assed question is that?
Reporter Number One: "Well, sir, I think...."
Ermey: Think, fancy boy? Get this through that septic tank on top of your shoulders, moron— I don't give a damn what you think, do you understand me? That Marine shot an enemy combatant, shithead. So get your head out of your ass and deal with it before I make you my own personal pin cushion! Next question! Yeah, you in the blue suit!
Reporter Number Two: "Don't you think the world's opinion of our operations is important?"
Ermey: Oh, sure! You don't know how many times I've cried myself to sleep worrying about what some goddamned French pansy thinks! Oh, the days I've wept because some shit-eating terrorist scumbag might be mad at us because we went into whatever God-forsaken shithole he lived in and killed him. What the hell kinda dumbass question is that, you peter-puffing jackass? We are the United States of America, and when you attack us, we are going to come to your house and blow your stinking camel-licking carcass into pieces so small we will be able to bury your sorry ass in a matchbox! Yeah, I know what you are thinking; you're probably afraid that I have an 'extreme' attitude and that I need to be more 'sensitive' to other people's feelings. Well, let me tell you something, you pole-smoking pansy! I don't give a damn what you or anybody else thinks! This is a damn war and, if you can't handle that, then you should go home and suck on Momma's tit! Do you hear me, runt? Now get the hell out of my press room before I go crazy and kick the living shit out of you! Next question. Yeah, you with the ugly-assed tie! Look at that thing! It's hideous!
Reporter Number Three: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by..."
Ermey: Freedom? What in blue hell do you know about freedome? I have sweated my ass off in jungles while being shot at for this nation! What in the hell have you done, you little shit-sucking weasel? When was the last time you put your ass on the line for anything? Yet you have the unmitigated gall to show up here and Monday-morning quarterback the actions of a brave Marine, who was defending himself and his unit from an attack by some murderous al-Qaeda sympathizer! You wanna know what I'm concerned about, numb nuts? I am concerned about a bunch of grab-ass morons with cameras and microphones doing their best to portray our brave men and women as war criminals! I am concerned about chicken-shit pansies that want us to negotiate with terrorists and whine about their piss-ant 'freedoms'! Next question!
Reporter Number Three: "I... I..."
Ermey: Did you have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast this morning, numb nuts? I don't want to hear another word out of that Commie cry-hole in that shit-pile you call a head! And that goes triple for the rest of you pansy-assed morons! Now get the hell out of my press room before I shove my boot so far up your ass you choke to death on my shoelaces!
Marine DI's have a language all their own.
God bless them all.
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