Use an accordion...

...go to jail.

It's an old joke, but Jessica Parks has an article in The Philadelphia Inquirer about one:

The package that led the Whole Foods Market in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania to evacuate staff and shoppers for the second time in a month turned out to be "a suspicious accordion", Plymouth Township Police Chief Joseph F. Lawrence said.
Around 2:30 pm, police received a call about a "suspicious" suitcase beside a trash can near the store's front door, according to the police report.
The store, and neighboring ones at the Plymouth Meeting Mall, were cleared for about three hours as police and dogs scoured the market. The Montgomery County Sheriff's Department's bomb squad X-rayed the package and determined it was an accordion. It was unclear if police identified the instrument's owner.
The evacuation was the second in a month because of a potential threat at the market. Police say they are searching for a former employee they think made the first, a bomb threat on 8 August 2014.
Travis Cornell Saunders, 30, formerly of North Philadelphia, faces a felony charge of making terroristic threats and seven misdemeanor charges, including reckless endangerment. According to police reports, Saunders called Plymouth Township police and made veiled references that the area was about to "blow up", and a former roommate called Philadelphia police to report that Saunders had said he would put a bomb at the store. Saunders had recently been fired, Lawrence said.
The market, part of the mall, was closed for about two hours on 8 August 2014 while police searched for explosive devices. They found none.
An arrest warrant was sent around Philadelphia and Montgomery County, but Saunders has yet to be found, police said.
Deputy Chief John C. Myrsiades said that the store was not in danger, and that "it was more of a person that Saunders was trying to harass."
Anyone with information about Saunders' whereabouts is asked to call Detective Jeffrey McGee at 610-279-1901.

Rico says it's a two-fer, with 'idiot for the day' for Saunders.