Not gonna happen

Rico's friend Kelley forwards this Yahoo article:

BBC News, apparently extremely skilled in the dark art of lying by omission, called this oddball listing a "seven-bedroom mansion, with sea views and in commuting distance of central London", they technically got all the facts straight. Spacious? Sure! Sea views? You bet! Convenient for commuters? Well, depends on the tide. See, the $800,000 property is not so much a charming beach villa, as brokers might have perspective buyers believe, but rather an bomb-proof, abandoned military fort called Grain Tower Battery, leftover from the 1860s.
Accessible via boat or a helicopter, the bulky cement "sea palace" is in need of some significant repair (just take a peek at the crumbling, graffiti-covered listing photos) but, offers a thick, sturdy frame and a mermaid-ready basin area that could easily become an epic pool deck. As the broker's babble would have it, it's also chock-full of potential, able to be transformed into "a private residence, an offshore hotel, a houseboat community, outdoor pursuit center, film location, nightclub, or a casino, to name a few". Check out a few more shots of the England's coolest new casino/nightclub/fortress, plus some extremely helpful renderings for future endeavors.

Rico says he'll take a tugboat if he wins the lottery; this place would be cold in an English winter...