Shh, it's a secret

Rico says he's been watching Mysteries of the Freemasons on the History Channel, brought on by the revelation that a cowboy shooting friend from Rico's days in California, Old Judge Creek, has been a long-time Mason.
While interesting historically (especially given the connection to the Templars and thus Friday the 13th), it still fails Rico's 'joining' threshold. Hell, Rico can barely stomach joining a political party, much less a secret society. (And remember that Rico got thrown out of the Cub Scouts, for swearing, a half-century ago; that was the last 'joining' he did...)

Spoiler alert: Old Judge Creek insists that "everything you read or see on television is pure 100% bullshit. It isn't a cult. It isn't a religion."