The Navy found they had too many officers, and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of a thousand dollars for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body; the officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He measured six feet tall, and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter, and asked to be measured from his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Master Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied: "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension officer that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old Master Chief insisted, and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was performed by a Medical Officer, who arrived and instructed the Master Chief to 'drop 'em', which he did. The officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Master Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed. "Where are your testicles?"
The old Master Chief calmly replied: "Vietnam."
27 January 2012
Why NCOs are smarter than officers
Rico says his friend David, himself the son of a now-deceased (alas) Marine officer, sends along this:
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