How hot and dry is it in Texas?

Rico says his friend Tex sends along this photo as proof, along with these reports:

• A man from Longview said he killed a mosquito carrying a teeny little canteen.
• A man in Lubbock said chicken farmers were giving the chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• In Lake Palestine, a twenty pound catfish was landed that had ticks on it.
• Just this week, in Bryan, a fire hydrant was seen bribing a dog.
• It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling, the Methodists are using wet-wipes, the Presbyterians are giving out rainchecks, and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.