Funny, unless you're a pirate

Rico says his friend Tex sends along this one:

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says: "Hey, haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" says the pirate. "I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."
The bartender replies: "Well, okay, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explaines: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, that," says the pirate. "One day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye."
"You're kidding," says the bartender. "You don't lose an eye just from bird shit."
"It was my first day with the hook."