New military rules

Rico's friend John Robinson sends these along:

Rules for US Army Rangers:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Laterally & diagonally preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years, nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Rules for Navy SEALs:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
4. Check hair in mirror.

Rules for the Marine Corps:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Rules for the Army:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to second lieutenants; they can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

Rules for the Air Force:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask What is a gunfight?
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine key Congressmen after inviting DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command, and assemble assets.
8. Declare assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make a 1345 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict, but close enough to have tax exemption.

Rules for the Navy:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines.

Navy Directive 16134 regarding inappropriate tee-shirts
(The following was issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the Middle East, and obviously directed at the Marines.)
To: All Commands
Subject: Inappropriate tee-Shirts
Reference: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K
All commanders promulgate upon receipt.
The following tee-shirts are no longer to be worn on- or off-base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East:
1. Eat Pork or Die [both English & Arabic versions]
2. Shrine Busters [Various. Shows burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]
3. Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy [Both English & Arabic versions]
4. Goat: It isn't just for breakfast any more. [Both English & Arabic versions]
5. The road to Paradise begins with me. [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs.]
6. Guns don't kill people. I kill people. [Both Arabic & English versions]
7. Pork. The other white meat. [Arabic version]
8. Infidel. [English, Arabic, & other coalition force languages.]

The above tee-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive. In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:
1. Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held Daily At The Firing Range At 0800.
2. Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?

All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt