You may be a Taliban if...

Courtesy of Rico's friend Kelley, this bit of Jeff Foxworthy:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bulletproof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women, and think every man should own four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Rico says the problem is that it's not only funny, but damn near true...