Semper If

Courtesy of Rico's friend Kev Kitterman (a daughter of his favorite Marine; her name is really Kevin, but that doesn't translate as female):

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams, and a tough old Marine sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request, before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.
Katie Couric said: "Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken." The leader nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chicken. Couric ate it all and said: "Now I can die content."
Charlie Gibson said:"I'm a New Yorker, so I'd like to hear The Moon and Me one last time." The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the West and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.
Brian Williams said: "I'm a reporter. I want to take my tape recorder and describe the scene here, and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments. He then said: "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and asked: "And now, Mister United States Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the terrorist, "Will you mock us in this, your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass. The Marine went sprawling but rolled to his knees, pulled a hidden pistol from his camouflage trousers, and shot the leader in the head. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on several terrorists and then, with an AK-47 that he took off a dead terrorist, sprayed the rest of them, killing another dozen. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying the three reporters, Katie Couric asked, "Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor?"

Semper If:
If you're not willing to stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them.