Nor shinola, probably

Courtesy of my friend Bill Calloway, this:

A Congressman was seated next to a pretty young woman on an airplane. As they took off, he turned to her and said "Let's talk. I've heard flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The young woman, who'd just opened a book, closed it slowly and said to this total stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the Congressman. "How about global warming or universal health care?" He smiled smugly.
"Those could be interesting topics," she said, "but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff: grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
Visibly surprised by the young woman's intelligence, he thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
Opening her book, the young woman replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know shit?"