Military humor about the Taliban

Courtesy of my friend Rich (who was seriously wounded in Vietnam but obviously retained his sense of humor), this:

You may be Taliban if:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
5. You think vests come in two styles: bulletproof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women, and think every man should own at least one.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.