Self-awareness is a bitch

Rico says he's been looking carefully at himself of late, and realizes that he's become a drunken two-year-old.
Why that particular description? Well, the drunkenness would explain his inability to consistently walk in a straight line (though using a cane helps) and, according to the National Network for Child Care website:

two-year-olds like to be independent. Favorite words are Mine! and No! and I do it! Emotions take on a roller coaster-like quality, as two-year-olds can go from excitement to anger to laughter within a few moments. A great deal of time is spent exploring, pushing, pulling, filling, dumping, and touching.
Two-year-olds are surer of themselves and of what they can do as they grow. Their bodies stretch out, and most will lose the potbellied look during this third year of life. Their appetites lessen, and they may be particular about food. They are still growing fairly rapidly.
Toddlers are very attached to their caregivers. They may try out new ideas and explore their surroundings but will still stay close, as they need a base of support and trust. Two-year-olds are usually interested in other children. However, social interest and physical abilities sometimes collide, as a hug becomes a tackle and a gentle pat becomes a whack. They will need to be taught how to express affection appropriately.

Rico says, for better or worse, it sounds just like him...

But Rico belatedly realized that he should add a touch of Alzheimer's, to explain his short-term memory loss...