More self-analysis

Rico says he's been pondering this overweight issue (with the urging, if that's the word, of his concerned father) and decided that he's not fat (he knows fat people, and he doesn't look like them), he's not tubby or chubby or husky (silly words, and only Margaret Cho can get away with calling herself husky), or even stout (Guinness is stout).
What he is, he decided, is portly, like Ron White. (And, no, Rico isn't as funny as Ron White, even on his best day, nor does he smoke cigars, but he does like a whiskey now and again, like Ron...)