Something minor to worry about

The New York Times has an article by John Schwartz about sartorial issues in the courtroom:

Lawyers, note well: Briefs might be long, but skirts cannot be brief. Neckties must be sober, not silly. Violate these laws of fashion, and you might incur the wrath of— or, perhaps worse, a glassy stare from— the judge.
The sartorial discussion was part of a general exchange of views among judges and lawyers during the annual Seventh Circuit Bar Association meeting, but its impact is reverberating far beyond the conference room of the Westin Indianapolis as lawyers around the country join an online gender battle.
The topic was first raised by a federal judge, Joan Lefkow of the Northern District of Illinois, as the panel discussed good and bad trends in courtroom practice. Judge Lefkow said some women should dress more appropriately in court. According to an article in the National Law Journal and from the accounts of others in the room, she said one lawyer had shown up for a jury trial in a velour outfit that looked for all the world as if she was “on her way home from the gym”. While the lawyer won her case, Judge Lefkow suggested to the judges and lawyers in the room that unseemly clothing in court was the kind of issue that should be the subject of quiet conversation in law firms.
That simple comment gave way to lively contributions from other participants, who quickly shifted the subject from schlubby to sexy. Judge Michael McCuskey, chief judge of the Federal District Court for the Central District of Illinois and a member of the panel, said that at moot court competitions in law schools, he had seen participants wearing “skirts so short that there’s no way they can sit down, and blouses so short there’s no way the judges wouldn’t look”.
A member of the audience, Judge Benjamin Goldgar of the United States Bankruptcy Court for the Northern District of Illinois, joined the minicolloquy, saying that titillating attire was “a huge problem” and a distraction in the courtroom and that “you don’t dress in court as if it’s Saturday night and you’re going out to a party”. In the spirit of sexual equity, Judge Goldgar added that he was also unhappy with lawyers who sported loud ties, some with designs like smiley faces.
Judge Virginia Kendall of the Northern District of Illinois then got a supportive laugh from the audience when she said that giving clothing advice to young women in a law firm might not be as big an issue if the firms had more women as partners in the first place.
As the story made its way around the Internet, readers rushed in to fire shots of their own. At the website of the American Bar Association’s ABA Journal, one woman parodied the male judges’ comments: “I’m sorry, Sugar, I’d love to listen to what you’re saying, but I have a penis. As such, I am only able to use one sense at a time.” She added: “What garbage! Poor men can’t control themselves, so women have to respond.”
That sentiment was countered by a comment from a man: “Yes, please ladies, by all means use your sexuality to get what you want (after all, that’s the only excuse you have for dressing in the manner described in this article).”
In an interview, Judge McCuskey allowed that “it did end up being a spirited conversation,” and said he had intended to say that the problem “starts in law school” and should be dealt with there.
In the panel discussion, Judge Lefkow, whose own taste in clothes tends toward the elegant, suggested that women wondering what might be appropriate for courthouse wear should browse the website Corporette. The site calls itself “a fashion and lifestyle blog for overachieving chicks”, and features fashion tips (“This week’s Suit of the Week is the lovely Albert Nipon pique dress and jacket, currently on sale at Neiman Marcus”) and polls (“Are fishnets appropriate for a conservative office?” Short answer: no.)
Law professors who deal with issues of feminism expressed scorn over the talk. In an interview, Susan Koniak, a law professor at Boston University, said she found the discussion about revealing clothing absurd. If clothing in court is such a distraction, she said, “we should just have a bag when we walk in, a burqa. Men, women, everybody.”

Rico says a big brown paper bag with a hole for their heads and holes for their arms might be just the thing...