So, what's that, winter forever?

Rico says that, given who wrote this (and when; Rico just noticed that it's © 2008), it has to be a spoof but, if so, 'tain't funny, McGee:

What was to be a day full of festivity and celebration turned into one of tragedy when legendary groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, was found dead in his home on Monday in the early morning.
At approximately 6:13 AM, when Mr. Phil had not yet emerged from his home, an Inner Circle member of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club discovered the body of the beloved groundhog. A confused and concerned crowd that had gathered for the traditional Groundhog Dog tradition was told to leave with little to no information as to the reason for the abrupt dismissal. “The last thing we wanted was for people to panic,” said a spokesman for the PGC. “We didn’t want to present the facts until we knew them.”
Investigators arrived on the scene and soon after declared that Mr. Phil’s death was caused by a drug overdose and alcohol poisoning. Though no note was left, all the evidence gathered pointed to an apparent suicide. Mr. Phil was found face down on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles of Groundhog Punch and prescribed anti-depressants. It was a particularly difficult sight to see for those close to the groundhog.
When news broke of the tragedy, thousands of adoring fans returned to the site of Mr. Phil’s home, leaving flowers, photographs and various sentimental trinkets to honor their lost hero. Punxsutawney resident, Jeffery Riles, 56, described the ordeal. “I just could not believe it. He has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember—I just can’t believe he’s gone.”
Though foul play had been ruled out by investigators, some skeptics have already suggested that Mr. Phil’s suicide could have been foreseen and prevented. Staten Island Chuck, a longtime friend and colleague of Phil, said in an emotional interview, “You could tell those guys at the PGC were overworking Punx. He hadn’t been himself recently. He was tired, always tired, and you could see that.”
It is true that in the past eight years Mr. Phil had only predicted one early spring, and as a result spent most of his time in his home. It is unknown whether or not the PGC’s knowledge of Phil’s emotional state will be investigated, and when asked about these allegations, the press correspondent of the PGC told reporters that they were not ready to release an official statement as of yet. “This is a tough time for us all here,” said a spokesman, “The last thing we need is a bunch of insensitive finger-pointers during this deeply tragic time.”
Punxsutawney Phil is no stranger to mystery though. For one, his official birth year is unknown. There were some who claimed he was immortal, though few truly believed this. After receiving the results of the autopsy though, coroners were puzzled by the fact the Phil’s bones have dated back nearly to the age of the dinosaurs. These strange results seem to shine light on the immortality myth, but make his death seem to be even more of a mystery.
It is no mystery, though, that Punxsutawney Phil’s death has affected millions nationally. Vigils have been held in almost every major city across the US, and President Obama called for an official moment of silence at 8 PM Monday evening. A private funeral service for friends and family is to be held on Thursday in Phil’s hometown.
It seems many have seen a shadow this Groundhog Day, and it must to be difficult to imagine a spring ever coming after this cold winter.

Rico says that, okay, because of the overdose thing, it's funny, but it's not that funny...