Lengthy rant, sorry, but funny

The Franklin Mint, in Exton, Pennsylvania, is still operating, contrary to rumor. Rico had a long-running war with them, starting back in the late 80s, over one of their dubious offerings. Rico will now bore you with excerpts from his correspondence with the Mint. (The original ad referred to appeared in the October 1989 issue of Soldier of Fortune magazine.) Rico started the war by sending a letter to the Franklin Mint:

27 September 1989
Gentlemen:
After seeing your ad in a recent issue of Soldier of Fortune, I'm interested in this badge series.
However, the Franklin Mint has been known to promote 'collectible' items of dubious parentage in the past. Therefore, a few questions need to be answered before I purchase this series:
These badges are purported to come from the collection of the Western Heritage Museum. Which Western Heritage Museum? Laramie? The Gen Autry in Los Angeles? Where?
Many of these badges 'were thought to have vanished until an exhaustive search was undertaken to recover them'. Really? By whom? It true, an interesting story all its own. If not...
Also, just out of curiosity: Masterson, Garrett, and Earp are great, but who are the other nine guys?
Your ad notes that badges 'stood for courage and integrity in the Old West'. Well, I may live in the New West, but integrity still counts out here. Please forward complete documentation on the Western Heritage Museum and its 'exhaustive search' for these badges, plus a list of the original wearers.
Given that, sign me up. If not, this town's too small for the both of us...

This elicted a response, as I'd hoped, from Stewart Resnick, the president of the Mint.

Dear Collector:
Many thanks for your subscription application, which, I am happy to tell you, has been accepted.
The first issue in your collection is now being completed. As explained on your application form, it will be sent to you soon after we receive your payment for the amount shown on the enclosed invoice.

I got a dunning letter from them, since I hadn't sent them any money, and then I wrote back.

30 October 1989
Dear Mr. Resnick:
Your letter says that my subscription application for the Official Badges of the Great Western Lawmen has been accepted, and all I need to do to start the badges coming is send back the twenty-something dollars as requested.
Whoa, big fella! It's pretty obvious that no one at the Mint bothered to read my letter.
There were several important requests for information made in that letter:
1. Which museum collected these badges?
2. Who did the search to 'recover' them?
3. When was this search made?
4. Who are the nine unnamed lawmen?
Not that I would doubt the veracity of anything offered by the Mint, mind you, but until these questions are answered, you can not assume that I've agreed to subscribe to your badge series.
Knowing how much you 'look forward to sending the first issue', I'm sure the documentation will be in the return post.
As I said in my original letter (copy enclosed), integrity is still important out here in the New West, so if you can't provide the answers to my questions, I'd be careful about asking for a necktie for the holidays if I were you...

That got a response, though from one Sandra McKinley in Collector Service (the sacrificial lamb of these things), dated 15 November:

Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding the Official Badges of the Great Western Lawmen.
I must apologize that an order for this series was started somewhat prematurely for you. However, none will be sent without your official confirmation and deposit.
I will attempt to answer your questions to the best of my ability with the reference information available to me.
The Western Heritage Museum, 801 South Tenth Street, Omaha, Nebraska 68108, was responsible for both the selection and recovery of the badges in this series. This was done in 1985 when our contract with this organization was initiated.
Enclosed are all the reference cards from all twelve badges. As you can see, some of the badges do not represent one specific 'great' lawman, but rather a memorable or notorious group or organization of lawmen. Although all lawmen wore 'stars' in those days, the wearers were not all 'stars' like Misters Masterson, Garrett, and Earp.
I hope I have answered all your doubts and have assured you of the integrity of this collection.

It did nothing of the sort, of course, but it brought on a letter on 30 November to Phillip Kwiatkowski, the director of the Western Heritage Museum in Omaha:

I recently responded to an advertisement for the Franklin Mint collection of the Official Badges of the Great Western Lawmen.
I included several requests for information in my letter:
1. Which museum collected these badges?
2. Who did the search to 'recover' them?
3. When was this search made?
4. Who are the nine unnamed lawmen?
Sandra McKinley of the Franklin Mint sent me a letter that answered several of these questions. Your museum was mentioned as responsible for the selection and the 'recovery' of the badges, and she also enclosed the series of reference cards shipped with the badges.
The original ad stated that many of these badges 'were thought to have vanished until an exhaustive search was undertaken to recover them'. So I turn to you with the rest of my questions: Who did the search to 'recover' them? When was this search made? Were actual badges 'recovered', or was this a matter of photographic research?
There are only four named lawmen in the series: Wyatt Earp, Pat Garrett, Fred Lambert, and Dallas Stoudenmire. There are, however, badges from five organizations (the Arizona, Colorado, and Texas Rangers, plus two kinds of deputy US marshal) which could conceivably cover a number of famous and infamous men. A reasonable set of choices overall, though more specific information on the various Rangers would have been nice.
However, the choice of the Custer County deputy sheriff is a bit obscure, particularly given the wide fame of the Lincoln or Johnson County wars. The Chicago, Rock Island, & Pacific RR detective is an even further stretch but, forgive me-- a special deputy sheriff from Sonoma County? I've lived in California for a long time and I've been a student of history for a long time, but I'm not sure what of note ever happened in Sonoma County. Perhaps someone was thinking of Sonora, in Old Mexico...
I also think , instead of several of the 'lawmen' or organizations chosen, that the badges of William Hickok, Charlie Siringo, Ben Thompson, or Bill Tilghman might have been more interesting. Perhaps they didn't turn up in the 'exhaustive search'.
Can you please end me more information on the Western Heritage Museum itslef, on the selection of the particular badges in this series, and on the search process that led to their 'recovery'?

I wrote Kwiatkowski again on 24 January 1990, asking the same questions. On 29 January, I got his response:

Thank you for your interest in the Franklin Mint badges, and please excuse the delay in answering your first letter.
Since I was not the director of the Western Heritage Museum when the agreement with the Franklin Mint was drawn, I have had to do some research.
What I have found is that we do not have the badges in our collection, and I do not know how the search process was carried out.
I have expressed my concern to the Mint about this particular issue and I hope the will clear up any misunderstanding in the future.

I wrote Kwiatkowski back, thanking him for his letter, and enclosing a copy of my letter to the Mint on 2 February; after reiterating my earlier correspondence with Resnick, I noted Kwiatkowski's response to my letter to him:

I received his reply yesterday. He states: "I have found that we do not have the badges in our collection, and I do knot know how the search process was carried out."
As I said in my original letter, integrity is still important here in the West. Right about now, any of the original wearers of these badges would be asking you to step out into the street...
Please advise me on why I should not refer this matter to the postal authorities for investigation.

In the meantime, I got another letter, dated 30 January, from the sacrificial lamb, Ms McKinley:

Your inquiry regarding the Great Western Lawman Badges has again been referred to me for response. Please excuse the delay in my reply.
I am assuming that you will receive a response from the Museum with regard to your questions about them in particular. However, I wanted to send all the additional information available regarding the collection and its contents.
The actual concept for this series was considered for years before the first brochure and advertisement went to press. In working with the museum, we not only investigate the whereabouts of the badges, but careful negotiations had to be made for the rights to use the badges in our series. Most of the badges are privately owned and are not always available for inclusion, even though we may have wanted them represented.
The resulting twelve badges in the series are the combination of the 'exhaustive search' and negotiations for the rigts to the badges. The follow-up art processing and approvals of reproductions took another year as well.
Most of the badges are not the same size as the original to prevent counterfeiting and pirating of the originals. But almost all of the artwork was copied from an original badge. The molds were taken from these badges by artists at the Franklin Mint.

Rico then wrote to James Knottage, the curator of the Gene Autry Museum in Los Angeles, asking if any of the Mint's badges had come from their considerable collection. In September of 1990, he wrote back:

You should know that the badges produced by the Franklin Mint for the Western Heritage Museum have nothing to do with our institution. The Western Heritage Museum is located in Omaha, Nebraska, and has nothing to do with our institution. I am sorry to say that we have not reproduced any of the badges in our collection. In fact we have few badges of great importance. The badges you saw in the article [from Sunset magazine] were produced by one company over a period of years and we use them simply as a backdrop for the section on law and order. The few badges with any history are shown in a neighboring case and include the Texas Rangers, deputy US marshal, and others.

The badges of the Official Badges of the Great Western Lawmen, just so you can be on the lookout for them, are (in no particular order): Fred Lambert (Cimarron, New Mexico); Dallas Stoudenmire (City Marshal, El Paso, Texas); the Arizona Territorial Rangers; a Captain in the Colorado Rangers; the Texas Rangers; a deputy US marshal (unspecified); a deputy marshal of the Indian Territory (unspecified, though Judge Issac Parker's authority to appoint deputy marshals in the territory is alluded to); a deputy sheriff of Custer County, Montana (unspecified); a detective of the Chicago, Rock Island, and Pacific Railroad; a special deputy sheriff of Sonoma County, California (unspecified); and Pat Garrett, sheriff of Lincoln County, New Mexico (famed for shooting Billy the Kid).

Rico says it was a nice scam, and probably almost worth the three hundred-plus dollars, but he's still just as happy he didn't...