Even better than the real one

The fake Steve Jobs is a brilliant piece of work.
In recent posts he takes on the whole Microsoft/Yahoo debacle, and other current events in Silicon Valley, like this conversation between Fake Steve and Fake Jerry Yang of Yahoo: "I'm like, Jerry, dude, I'm not very good at math and to be honest I kind of lost track of what you were saying because I put down the phone at one point so I could check myself out in the mirror, but I think that plan is going to take something like fifteen years, isn't it? He said no, it was only two or three years at most, and the Internet is still in its infancy, and blah blah blah... So I cut him off, and I'm like, Jerry, hold on. Hold on. Stop. Listen to me. Jerry, you know what? It's been great knowing you. Really it has. And I think you're going to make a fantastic member of the Ex-Founders Club, alongside Woz and Paul Allen. I'm sure you'll find ways to keep busy. Maybe you can do some creative investments. Build an electric car. Or a commercial spacecraft. Open a restaurant in Napa. Take up high-altitude ballooning. He's like, Steve, I don't want to go ballooning, I want to keep running Yahoo. I'm like, dude, I want to turn my house into a polygamous retreat with Gong Li and Scarlett Johansson as my new wives, but that wish ain't gonna come true. And neither is yours. Sorry. He was crying again when I hung up."

And this: "Nobody wants a big teetering giant stumbling through their market threatening to topple over and wipe out entire neighborhoods by accident. But that's what Microsoft has become-- the big stupid retarded giant lurching into the Valley, like King Kong with a lobotomy and a shotgun and a bottle of tequila, stomping around and beating its chest and then stumbling away, having wiped out most of the city. And what of Ballmer himself? I'll try to put this politely. He looks like a fucking idiot. The assault on Yahoo was first and foremost an admission that Microsoft has totally fucked up its attempts to build an Internet business. Everybody knew that, of course, but it's still usually not a good idea to draw attention to your weaknesses."

Rico says check it out. (Even if it is written by a Canadian; who knew they had such a great sense of humor?)










Gong Li and Scarlett Johansson, as if you couldn't tell which was which...