Another wonderful product from...

Back in college, a bunch of us (nerds and geeks, before there even were such things) would sit around in the eating facility, trying to figure out how it was that they actually made the 'food' they served us.
We decided, finally, that Unipaste Industries had installed a Unipaste machine in the kitchen, and thereafter regularly delivered 55 gallon drums of Unipaste to the kitchen.
Unipaste had, we assumed, the appearance and consistency of library paste, and the taste of absolutely nothing at all.
The Unipaste machine, however, was able to take the raw paste and, through a complex series of manipulations (including cutting, imprinting, coloring, flavoring, and eventually heating), turn it into anything, from Brussels sprouts to tuna fish to pasta salad.
The meal-time challenge, of course, was to come up with the entire series of processes required to turn the paste into whatever it was on our plates.
Some people (including, ahem, yours truly) were highly inventive, and could recite a plausible series of events that might, given a truly omnipotent piece of Unipaste machinery, actually create the 'food' we were consuming. (Eating is too good a word, and dining never happened there.)
And you wonder why we could never get any interesting women to eat with us...