Starter castle

What does the house on the left have that the one on the right does not?

Well, other than style and grace and a million dollar mortgage, anyway.
It looks like a house, for one thing. The construction (I hesitate to call it a building, much less a house) on the right looks like the box a house comes in, rather than a house.
You can't even tell where the damn front door is, for one thing.

If you need academic reasoning to back up any gut reaction, look no further than the excellent book The American Porch by Michael Dolan.
It's full of references to traditional housing critics and architects, and splendid quotes like these:
"Veranda, piazzas, bay windows, balconies, etc., ar the most valuable general truths in Domestic Architecture."
"There is nothing more common in some parts of the country than to see the cockneyism of three-story town houses violating the beauty and simplicity of country life."

I drove by both of these dwellings for months on my way to work.
One made me smile.
One made me gag.
One guess which was which...