No, really wrong

To prove, early on, just how wrong I can be when I really really try, this list was sent out (via email, pre-blog) the day after Katrina struck New Orleans. Many of my predictions (especially the one about Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell) were almost immediately overrun by actual events. (I guess you can never go wrong overestimating Pat and Jerry.) While the international offers of assistance were amazing (and humbling, especially for a curmudgeon like me), we are still waiting for some of these offers... (But, yes, I did think the Bush administration was lame to turn down the kind offer of a thousand medics by the Cubans, who hadn’t even made my original list. The folks in the Superdome and the Convention Center could surely have used them and, if Bush really wanted to stick it to Castro, they should have brought all the doctors over, showed them what a Porsche looks like parked in your own personal parking space at the clinic, and counted how many defected on the spot...)

Things you won't see in the wake of Hurricane Katrina
German engineers rebuilding bridges and roads.
Bottled water from the French.
Russian submarines searching for disrupted oil production pipelines.
Donated oil and gasoline from Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, and Venezuela.
Jesse Jackson decrying violence in the streets (and not referring to law enforcement officers, either).
Clothing and black skin-care products donated by various African countries.
Emergency food supplies from the Sudan.
Serbian and Croatian paramilitary troops digging mass graves (and they're so good at it, too).
Medical supplies from India.
Armenians and Iranians replacing carpeting destroyed by the flood.
Donated Swedish cars being driven by emergency workers.
French children lining the Champs Elysees, collecting Euros for the relief of victims of Katrina (just those living in the French Quarter, of course).
Pakistanis repairing broken oil and water pipelines.
Diamonds sent by South Africa and rubies by Burma to be auctioned off for disaster relief.
Mexicans helping people cross the Mississippi river.
Belgians cooking waffles to feed those in shelters.
Gold and watches from Switzerland (and none of that Nazi stuff, either).
Barrels of kim chee from Korea.
Bangladeshi ferry boats carrying refugees out of the flooded areas.
Shoes from Brazil for those without any.
Czech and Irish and Australian beer being handed out to thirsty policemen.
Palestinians and Israelis blowing up damaged buildings and rebuilding walls.
Nigerians restarting the refineries.
Public baths and saunas built by the Finns.
Tobacco from the Turks.
Dutch construction companies fixing broken levees and pumps.
Thai silk sent to cloth the naked.
Sand from Mali and Niger to help reconstruct the levees and beaches.
Iraqi policemen guarding stores and hospitals.
Nurses from the Philippines (oops, they're all here already).
Poles rebuilding the shipyards.
Pastries from the Austrians.
Canadians and Greenlanders delivering shiploads of ice.
Replacement fishing boats donated by the Japanese and the Portuguese and the Greeks.
Money from the Vatican to restore the cathedral and the parish churches.
Coffee from Colombia and Jamaica.
Heavy trucks and construction equipment from China.
Aruban search and rescue squads looking for dead or missing young women (oops, not in Aruba, either).
Oil drilling platforms donated by the Norwegians.
British soldiers handing out candy to children.
Money from the Louisiana Purchase, sent back by the French.
...and Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell claiming that New Orleans was destroyed by the will of God because its citizens practiced lewd behavior during Mardi Gras...